Buying a home over 500 miles away and simultaneously selling a home is a difficult proposition in the best of circumstances.

Over the course of the past 10 years, my Husband and I have looked at coastal and lake front real estate up and down the east coast and west coast of this wonderful country.

We have looked month after month at the foreclosures in New Jersey, New York, Delaware and Virginia.

As recommended in our book "Focusing On Foreclosures", I listed my criteria for purchase. Unfortunately, my criteria and the realities of my pocketbook did not match. A beach home in the Hamptons or the Pacific Palisades south of San Francisco were in the millions. Our search continued. We don't give up easily. At times we were more than frustrated and believed we were pursuing a pipe dream.

The current saga began in May '97. On a whim, my husband decides to visit North Carolina (probably due to some article in a fishing magazine) to update said search for property.

Being in my frustrated mode, I told him to go, not expecting too much.

Well, his report came back enticingly that made it worthwhile to see for myself. So, July of last year, we packed up loaded for bear and drove to North Carolina with a 1 and a 3 year old with the purpose of finding our dream home. Water and docking in the back yard, clean refreshing ocean in the front yard, plenty of rolling hills and full growth trees, a good school system for our kids and convenient shopping facilities.

Normal, people begin looking for real estate by contacting a real estate agent and viewing homes for sale. My husband in his earlier trip spent a lot of time with the Sheriff to determine the foreclosure procedures in the state. As usual, he discovered you have to take your time, understand the system and blend in with the "good old Boys" to be moderately successful. This foreclosure approach was months if not years away.

We always liked beginning by using our noses. Drive each and every street block by block inch by inch, slowly. This driving around approach enables you to get the feel of the place. My husband had already selected a particular development. I previously had read about the history of the development in "The Insiders Guide to the Outer Banks" and it seemed very intriguing to me. The development was begun in 1947 by an artist who wanted to keep the natural character of the area. It is a bird sanctuary. It is not even fully developed today!

After driving 10 hours with 2 kids wanting to know "are we there yet", We came to the development. My husband insisted on showing me the development even before we checked in to the hotel.

So we drove in and out of the streets one by one, looking for a boarded up or abandoned property --- just looking. We drove out on a spit of land between the canals and the bay of the sound.

Juniors diaper was about to explode! We decide to stop on the dead end street to change his diaper. As luck would provide for our changing privacy, a woman was strolling by walking her dog. After exchanging pleasantries, we ask her how she liked the neighborhood. There wasn't any thing to dislike, in our minds. We were interested in moving to the area. She replied, "There are several houses for sale on this spit, would we like to take a walk and she will show us". She was not a real estate agent.

Everyone needed to stretch their legs, so we took the walking tour. One house was on the sound. It was a 40 year old colonial with multiple lots. The owner passed away, and the estate was selling the house and the lots separately. We wrote down the address and the contact information she provided. The house did not have a for sale sign.

The next house was a huge contemporary also on the bay, in perfect shape and over our budget. Finally, after walking and talking, she told us about the house next door to hers. It was currently occupied by a tenants, and had become a little run down over the years. This house did have a for sale sign. It was not visible because of the mature tree and fauna growth. We took the information down ready to do the follow-up.

The neighbor mentioned "her husband was a retired attorney and her two sons are partners in a local law firm". We thanked her for her time and trouble and took the name of her sons law firm.

Next, we checked in at the hotel and followed-up on the two houses and a few others we noted on our drive around. The listing broker for the house next door to the neighbor, who gave us the walking tour, said the tenants had a dog and he was not supposed to show the house without the permission of the tenant. The tenant was not available. With a little pressure, he agreed to meet us at the house and see if the tenant arrived home. The tenants did not arrive home and there was no dog. We saw the house quickly.

Our two kids were screaming, tired, hungry, and acting normal for their age. It was almost impossible to give the home the once over that we usually give. It was hard to look. The house was pretty beat up inside and out. Sliding glass doors and closet doors were broken and it appeared the rear wall of windows were sagging and there may be a structural problem. The tenants had left the house a mess.

While one should never evaluate real estate based on someone else's decorating or house keeping, sometimes, it is so distracting that it is a hard to ignore. Such was the case.

Upon talking to the listing agent, we found the tenants was living there rent free! The tenant was a builder and was supposed to be making repairs and maintaining the property. It was difficult to determine what had been accomplished in his tenure. To our amazement he did rip out the oil fired base board heat from the two story house and had a heat pump installed for only one floor. The holes in the floor from the piping remained. The house had been on the market a long time and the tenant so much liked his living arrangement, that he made it difficult for the real estate agent to show it. Only twice in six months!

Despite the condition, the house had the proverbial potential! Should we make an offer? Yes. But what about all the potential problems. Beside structural suspicions, the house needed new bathrooms. A fuchsia pink tub, sink and toilet with blue tile walls and another shade of blue tile for the floor was not exactly our fashion colors. The kitchen needed remodeling and heat for the downstairs. Painting for interior and exterior, full scale landscaping. Replacement of interior and exterior doors. Garage door repair and the bay window was dry rotted and infested with carpenter ants. ... But it was on a great lot!

We went to dinner and tried to organize our thoughts. Unfortunately, our kids were screaming in the restaurant, so we could not stay and even eat our meal. We took our entire diners in a doggie bag and ate it in the hotel.

Next strategy, wear down the kids so they go to sleep. Off to the beach and pool to tire them out. Adults tire before children. The children finally got to sleep at midnight.

We all were are exhausted from the drive The first quiet time to think and discuss. What should we offer? What are the comparable? We have only started looking in the area and do not have a real feel for real estate values. If we use New Jersey values we will over pay. We start at 20% off the asking price and add up the repairs. This number is $84,000 off the asking price. This is our "as is" offer. Next, we re-figure the numbers to arrive at an offer with mortgage and inspections contingencies. We decide to simultaneously present both offers with an earnest money deposit and the added request that the sellers visit the property before the decide on the offer.

We hire the neighbors sons law firm for the deal and drop off the contracts for review. This was another mistake. We took a short cut and did not research real estate attorneys in North Carolina. We took the recommendation of a mother - a very nice well spoken mother! The reason this was a mistake becomes obvious later in this story.

We continue to look at other properties while waiting for a response. The day we are scheduled to leave, the sellers have scheduled a visit but we are unable to meet and discuss the deal.

As it so happens, the tenants hired a professional cleaning service and upon the sellers arrival the house was spotless and many items repaired or disguised (so says the sellers agent).

Well, needless to say, we greatly offended the sellers with our low ball offer. Our offer was refused and the deposit was not placed in escrow like it should have been. The counter offer from the sellers was $4,000 less than the asking price. There was no meeting of the minds and the money gap was large. We did not give up.

After arriving back in New Jersey, we did some research. We submit a new offer which is $34,000 off the asking price. We write a letter explaining the offer with comparables and repair expenses. We also include an analysis of previous rent and depreciation to illustrate the profit on the sale to the sellers.

At this point, our prior offer has left a bad taste in the sellers mouth and the sellers was quoted as saying "I would not sell it at full price to those folks". It is apparent, we did not handle this well and no deal is going to be made.

One can only learn by experience. Every deal is different. This has been an experience of hope and frustration but we decide to move on. Maybe they will change their mind after the selling season is over.

Next, we contact a buyers broker in North Carolina. That is what we should have done originally. He keeps us posted on what properties are coming on the market and what has been sold. A property comes on the market which meets our criteria and price and my husband can not arrange to travel to see it for over 2 weeks. It is sold before he arrives. He looks at everything on the market so as not to waste a visit.

He sees another property worth making an offer on. A full price offer is made with inspection contingencies. We decide not to make the same mistake twice by making too low of an offer and offending the seller (and he does not have the children there to distract his thinking). He brings home pictures. While pictures are better than nothing, I would have preferred to walk through. The house is adequate, if not ordinary. However, there is multiple cracks in the brick veneer of this ranch house. The seller insists the cracks are cosmetic and not indicative of any structural problem.

The need for research is not limited to buying foreclosure properties. The court records are researched as well as the town records for building permits. It appears a building permit was issued to replace the brick veneer several years ago when the entire brick veneer fell from the house. It is apparent the seller is lying to us.

Due to the nature of our suspicions, an engineer hired to perform the inspection of the house rather than a home inspection company. The engineer indicates the house is shifting on the foundation, but he must do borings around the foundation to determine if it can be stabilized and at what cost. The end result is the engineer charged us $1,200 to perform the inspections (significantly more that the $300 the home inspection company would have charged), but it saved us $60,000 in required structural repairs. Even if the $60,000 in structural repairs were made, the house was built on a bog, and there was no guarantee the shifting and sliding of the house would be fixed. We void the deal and get our deposit back. We happily pay the engineer. We discuss making a record of our findings with the building department so the next buyer is fully informed. Technically, the seller knew of the defect and could have been sued.

Our buyers broker informed us a short while later the house was sold. On the day of closing, a tree fell on the house (due to the boggy soil) and the veneer fell down again. I was glad it was not me, but really felt bad for the new buyer.

Four months have passed since the botched offer on the first house. While I have put it out of my mind, you know the one with the terrific lot and location. My husband keeps mentioning it. He asks the buyers broker to approach the sellers with an apology on our behalf.

While they are not anxious, we settle on a price of $15,000 less than the asking price. The contract and earnest money deposit is made. The inspections begin via long distance. I have not seen the house for 6 months and only spent a grand total of 10 minutes there. The same engineer which exposed the $60,000 structural defect on the prior house is re-hired for the house inspection. In addition, specialist for each system of the house are also hired to perform inspections (plumber, electrician, septic, roof, HVAC, water etc.). The initial reports come back and additional adjustments are agreed to (after some negotiating and delay) as an addendum to the contract. In addition, the sale of our New Jersey house is a condition of the purchase and the agreed closing is over 6 months after the contracts are signed, we agree to pay the sellers $800 a month EQUITY rent to be applied as a credit on the purchase price upon closing.

Now it is December of 98' in New Jersey. We have a contract to purchase and the terms have been worked out. We need to sell our New Jersey house. December is pretty slow for real estate sales. We list the house for sale. Prior to the first showing, the hot water heater breaks and floods the basement and all the preliminary packing (50 plus boxes). This is a set back. We clean up and regroup. We replace the hot water heater.

I don't mind cleaning. I like to live in neat surroundings so I can stay organized. I promised myself I wanted my kids to remember "Mommy played with me" not "Mommy had a clean house". However, with two toddlers, it is a constant battle to clean fingerprints off the glass doors throughout the house, keep the toys picked up as well as vacuuming and mopping. While I was successful in keeping the house clean while it was being shown to potential buyers, my son would get up at 4:00 am get the glass squeegee and feather duster and imitate my cleaning.

We have a potential buyer for the New Jersey House. After seeing the house with another real estate agent (not the firm the house was listed by), she calls my husband to discuss terms. She claims she is qualified for a mortgage for $10,000 less than our asking price but really likes the house and wants to know if it is worth making an offer. She says that she would not expect any discount for repairs which may be required but she has continued to drive by the house for years and really wants it. My husband responds we would consider all bona fide offers in writing. We had previously disclosed that the basements has a minor leak. During their discussion, my husband mentions we contacted a firm to fix and guarantee the basement, but the representative refused to put it in writing and ran out of the house when we made a copy of the recommendation letter he presented during his "dog and pony show". She asks if she can get an estimate for repairing the basement prior to submitting a formal offer as money is tight and she is not sure she can afford it.

Negotiating mistake number two. We say yes. Never negotiate with a buyer directly. Use your real estate broker or attorney after the offer/contract is executed by both seller and buyer!

The buyer hires a company to do the basement inspection. He gives her an estimate. We do not hear anything for a week. Upon following up, the buyers real estate agent says "she is a little flaky" I don't know what she is doing. Next, the same guy who inspected the basement and ran out of the house appears at our gate. He mentions the potential buyers name and wants to do an inspection, my husband reminds him of our previous encounter and promptly throws him out! The buyer did not notify anyone she had asked another company to do an inspection.

As a seller, I am now wearing a different hat. I remember my perception of the sellers for the house I wanted to buy in North Carolina and am trying to take this game with a objective attitude.

The potential buyer now requests permission to perform other inspections on the house without a contract! We say no. This is wasting my time.

This is followed by a formal offer by same buyer with earnest money. Her father is purchasing the house for her. His name is on the contract. The sale price is less than what it is worth but the timing of the closing date fits with the purchase in North Carolina. The contract goes to attorney review.

This is where the story gets particularly interesting. We hire a NJ Attorney.

Whenever we do seminars, we always stress the importance of getting the right attorney for the deal. Ask just about any attorney, and they will tell you they can close a real estate deal. This is not what you want. You must get an experienced expert.

Reputation is important. However, after the challenges presented in this current deal, my actual experience of being a client of his firm will allow me to provide the highest recommendation with full confidence.

The NJ Attorney's skillful handling of the New Jersey real estate transaction is sharply contrasted by the skills (and ignorance) of the attorney hired for the North Carolina deal.

The current status (as of 7/98) of these two deals is, I am in the house in North Carolina, but have not closed. I also have not closed on the house in New Jersey. A law suit will be entered against the New Jersey buyer. The details of how this happened and the difference a good attorney makes is the subject of the rest of this article.

The buyer of our New Jersey property is the father of the woman who will live in the property. After receiving the contract from the buyers, we contact the NJ Attorney's to review the terms. The contract includes a credit at closing of 1.7% to the purchase price. This credit was agreed to in advance, to repair the water seepage in the basement and any other deficiencies. In addition, we requested an addendum be written to clarify terms of the contract and the understanding reached by buyer and seller.

Ralph contacts the buyers attorney and faxes the 1 page rider with 2 simple changes. The buyers attorney responds with a 3 page letter of proposed changes. The buyer's attorneys changes are not clarifying the understanding between the buyer and seller but are increasing the complexity. The bottom line to us as sellers, was we made a price concession up front, and provided a credit to allow the basement to be repaired and any other deficiencies. The changes made by the buyers attorney, could allow the buyer to collect two times to repair the basement and re-negotiate other repairs. It takes approximately 2 weeks to work out the wording of this simple rider. During this time, the NJ Attorney is in contact with me daily. He fully explains the potential repercussions of any changes in wording and fully answers any "what if" concerns I have.

In the middle of this rider negotiation, after the contract for sale is signed, the buyers attorney informs my attorney that his clients want to fully inspect the property before they decide what they will pay. It is a little late, the contract is signed! My attorney informs them in writing, this is not acceptable and if they insist he is authorized to terminate the contract.

At the same time, several common acquaintances of the buyer's daughter tell my husband she is very excited about buying the house and she can't wait to move in. She has gone on and on about the landscaping, the glass block walls, the Jacuzzi tub and all the custom built ins. While actions speak louder than words, real estate is a cat and mouse game. These buyers are doing their best to jerk us around.

So two weeks after the contact is signed we have a rider the buyer and seller agree on. Well, this was difficult. Perhaps, now that everyone has the same understanding the rest of the transaction will go smoothly! (Obviously, this is wishful thinking and only the tip of the iceberg to come.)

During this negotiation, we access the internet to check out the buyer of our property. We find he owns a handful of commercial properties. Apparently, these will be the additional collateral for the purchase of our NJ house.

Meanwhile, I am a little nervous about the timing to close in North Carolina. I am not confident about the advise I am receiving on the other end. I explain the facts of the North Carolina deal to my NJ Attorney. I fax him the paper work and ask him to review. At 9:00pm I get a written 2 page analysis from the NJ attorney about the North Carolina deal. This is a more detailed response than I have gotten out of my North Carolina attorney in 6 months!

The rider for the sale of the New Jersey property is signed. However, it appears the buyers real estate agent is holding it rather than delivering it to all the parties. The buyer has 10 days to perform the house inspection and notify us of any deficiencies. It appears the buyers are trying to buy additional time. We schedule the fire inspection and the Certificate of Occupancy inspection. The buyers schedule the house and termite inspection the same day.

We receive a copy of the home inspection results. The items listed read like a home maintenance list (i.e. gutters should be cleaned, caulking is needed at exterior window and door casings etc.). However, some evidence of carpenter ants is noted. The contract does not require me to pay for the treatment, however, I know if a clear certification is not received then the mortgage will not be approved. I agree to treat the house for carpenter ants and hire the same company the buyers hired to perform the initial inspection.

The buyer made a $500 deposit with the contract and was scheduled to make an additional deposit of $8,400 to my attorney's escrow account. It is now past the due date and no word about the money, both the deposit and the mortgage. My attorney notifies the other attorney, in writing, about the refusal to make the minor repairs and requests the deposit moneys and mortgage commitment.

Meanwhile, the daughter of the buyer, who will live in the house, wants to come over to look at the house in the next hour. I say OK. I do some quick straightening up. We exchange pleasantries. All's OK. Two days latter, Saturday night at 6:00pm, the real estate agent calls and the father (buyer) and the daughter want to see the house in an hour. OK fine. Some days latter, the request to have more relatives see the house is repeated. This is repeated several more times, until I tell the real estate agent enough is enough. It is difficult to pack under these circumstances!

It is now 2 weeks prior to closing. All arrangements have been made for moving both the household and business. All address changes are made. The final documentation for our mortgage in North Carolina is provided to the mortgage company. Final packing consumes every spare moment.

We follow up daily on the buyers mortgage commitment as all other outstanding issues have been addressed. No actual commitment exists. The inside word is the buyer has not provided 3 items of documentation.

It is the day before scheduled closing, the buyers notify us they are voiding the contract unless we repair the structural damage. What structural damage? This is completely out of the blue... Apparently, the termite inspection company made a mistake on the original report and listed the evidence of past carpenter ants under the damage section of the form. I call the termite company and they assure me it is a mistake no structural damage exists and they will document this in a letter to my attorney and to the buyers. Problem fixed, I think.

I figure this is a stall to buy time to close. If the buyers have us scrambling for documentation maybe we won't notice they don't have a mortgage commitment!

It is moving day. At 6:00am, my mother calls. She is distressed. My father was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and is intensive care. She is scared he is dying. I need to go to Delaware and the movers are coming today. I tell her I will be there as soon as I can. The movers start moving, my husband is still packing and my son is running to the street to try to help. The day is not going well. The mover insists there is enough room in the truck, it doesn't look like it. The mover anticipates finishing by 2:00pm. I can be in Delaware by 4:00pm.

It is now 8:00pm and the mover figures out he does not have enough room in the truck. He tries to call for another truck. The best they will do, is send another truck tomorrow and it will arrive in NC a week later. We leave them the keys and instructions. We clean up as best we can and the vacuum belt breaks. We have kept the animals (dogs and cats) secure all day. We walk and carry them to the car and the cat escapes. It is dark and we can't find the cat and I need to get to Delaware.

I arrive in Delaware at midnight. I must wait until tomorrow to see my father. I stay in Delaware for a few heartbreaking days. My father is improving but is still in intensive care. He tells me to go to North Carolina. The movers are scheduled to be in North Carolina with the first load of stuff tomorrow.

I call the NJ Attorney from Delaware to ask him to send a "time of the essence" letter to the buyers. The word from the real estate brokers is there is no mortgage commitment because the buyer did not complete requested documentation.

In contrast to the NJ Attorney's capabilities and knowledge, the NC attorney is unable to answer simple legal questions regarding NC real estate law. Each phone conversation is utterly frustrating since he is not even sure what contract addendums are in effect or how to proceed with the issues I bring up.

I am running out of time for my North Carolina closing. I call the attorney in North Carolina. I tell him the New Jersey house did not close. I ask him if "time of the essence" means I must close by the date in the contract or do the sellers have to provide an additional notice and "reasonable" time. He can't answer my question.

I ask him to complete the title and survey work. I ask him to follow up on the $1,000 termite treatment required and remind him payment of the treatment is the sellers responsibility. He has been advising me to wait and dragging his feet on every request. He suggests I wait on the termite treatment. Wait! Wait for what? Godot! I inform him the mortgage company will not fund a mortgage without clear certification. His response, "oh yeah"! I explain I want everything in place to close as soon as closing in New Jersey takes place.

I get off the phone exasperated as usual. I have considered getting a new attorney for the past several months but can't think of a way to do it without offending him and thus causing some difficulty with his mother, my new neighbor. I made a big mistake. I always advise people to get an expert real estate attorney. I did not follow my own advise by researching NC real estate attorneys. He was recommended by his mother.

He doesn't return phone calls. I must fax him to get him to act. He has not documented his conversations with the sellers attorney, and I am holding the bag! I have more than lost my patience and confidence with this attorney.

Next, I get a panicked call from our real estate broker in NJ. The buyers are voiding the contract (again). They want to re-inspect the property due to the structural damage mistakenly listed on the termite report. Apparently, the correction letter was not sent as promised by the termite company. A few more phone calls to the termite company finally gets the letter sent.

I tell the real estate broker NOT to let them re-inspect. The first reason is I have not seen the condition of the house since the movers were there to move the second batch of stuff. The second reason is the contract called for inspections to be complete and notification to us 60 days ago. The real estate broker is uneasy with this explanation.

I call the NJ Attorney and explain what is happening. He provides written notice to the buyers attorney that: 1) the buyers failed to provide documentation to the mortgage lender. Since the buyers attorney's client has not acted In good faith, he has no legal right to void the contract under the mortgage contingency clause. 2) the sellers have provided proof of treatment for carpenter ants and an addendum written by the company chosen by the buyers stating no structural damage exists. 3) The sellers time of the essence notice provided 2 weeks notice and according to case law is sufficient notice. Finally, if the buyers do not close by the 2 week time of the essence date, they will be held in breach and all legal and equitable remedies will be pursued. It feels good to have an attorney on the ball! Short and sweet and to the point. Way to go!

Next, I receive the terrible news my father died. I leave for Delaware to comfort my Mother and help with funeral arrangements. This process takes 5 days. I notify the attorney and real estate broker to reach me in Delaware and follow-up on the status. My husband returns to New Jersey. He finishes cleaning up the house and searches for the cat. He hires someone to cut the grass. He goes to the moving company to tract down missing items (like a lawn mower, in the movers warehouse etc.). He follows up with our real estate broker and the buyers agent etc.

Our NJ real estate broker gives him another letter stating the buyers are terminating the contract for the same reasons already addressed and countered by my attorney's previous letter. Meanwhile, our real estate broker "ran into" the daughter of the buyer. The daughter still maintains she wants to buy the house! This is crazy!

Through some mis-communication, the buyers do obtain a second opinion from another company that there is no structural damage to the house. O.K., this should make them warm and fuzzy, maybe now they will close and stop making my life miserable.

The buyers mortgage commitment is imminent (yes, I have heard this before - almost 6 times before, I will believe it when I see it). The deal is back on again. My NJ Attorney documents this back to the buyers attorney. He is an expert. There is a paper trail for this entire process. I do not have to remind him to document any item and he automatically faxes and/or calls me to let me know what has transpired. I may be getting jerked around but at least my attorney is not letting them walk all over me and if need be, he is documenting a case for their breech.

I return to North Carolina. I am now more than a week behind in all work. The Office is still not set up. We find out the buyers are going to close this week. I need three days after they close in New Jersey in order for my mortgage company to fund the loan in North Carolina. If they don't close in a day or two, I stand to lose almost $10,000 on my North Carolina deal. The pressure is on.

I contact the North Carolina attorney. He completed the title and survey work. He is still clueless about the time of the essence clause for North Carolina. He instructs me to document all outstanding issues on the North Carolina deal (outstanding repair credits, termite treatment etc.). He has not followed-up on the sellers paying the $1,000 for the termite treatment, (this issue is over 1 month old) I am losing my patience! He has no clue what to do! I am between a rock and a hard place.

I have lost track of how many times the closing is off and on in New Jersey (just trying to count this week). Even if I sue the buyers for breech, I will have a long wait until I see those funds. I contact my mortgage company to find out about a bridge loan. It is two days before my scheduled closing in North Carolina. They will do a bridge loan. It is going to cost us and they are busting their butts to fund it in time. We discuss other alternatives, if we liquidate stock for the down payment will they fund the regular mortgage without the requirement we sell the New Jersey property first. Yes. We tell the mortgage company to prepare for closing.

We call the stock broker to liquidate some stocks and wire transfer the funds within 24 hours. One response is, yes, one day wire transfer is possible and the other is 3 business days before the wire transfer. Not good enough. We tell him to find a way to liquidate and wire the funds the next day. He figures he can structure it as a loan from the firm until the funds are actually available.

At the same time, to hedge our bets, we call around for recommendations for an expert real estate attorney in North Carolina. We contact a new attorney and schedule to meet with him in an hour. In one hour, he has analyzed and provided definitive answers to our dilemma. Our situation is grim. We do stand to lose almost $10,000 if we don't close within the next two days. In addition, technically, we are a month to month tenant until we close and can be evicted within 7 days. This is not good. (Far harsher than New Jersey's Tenant laws).

Strategy one, ask if we can delay closing. Strategy two, sellers provide a larger credit to allow us to close earlier. He agrees to contact the sellers attorney. He agrees to contact our existing NC attorney, in a tactful way, to explain why we consulted him. He does not get through until the next day, the day before our scheduled NC closing.

The day before the scheduled closing, we get a call from the first North Carolina attorney. He is reviewing a repair list. He does not understand the urgency. He still does not know which addendum's are in force under the deal. We explain we spoke to another attorney who is contacting the sellers attorney to request a closing delay.

Both North Carolina attorney's are now trying to contact the sellers attorney. Somehow, when the same idea is communicated to both attorneys, only one gets it. Several phone calls go back and forth. Attorney number one calls and tells us the sellers attorney has agreed to extend one month, with no additional repair credits, but will pay for the termite treatment. What about the other $10,000 we stand to lose? Well, "that's the same". We explain it must be in writing. He says he will write a letter to the sellers attorney documenting the date change and referring to the existing addendum's. I scream Now, No! You will write a new agreement outlining the new terms and conditions and re-stating we will not lose the $10,000. The sellers must sign it. I hang up the phone, he still does not get it.

Attorney number two calls. He has the same word from the sellers. I explain, that I am having difficulty getting attorney number one to write a new addendum to protect my interest, will he write it? He says yes, and proceeds to explain how he wants to structure the addendum to outline the terms. Yes, that's it! He will fax us a copy.

It is 5:00pm the day before scheduled closing in North Carolina. I receive the addendum by fax and sign it. Attorney number 2 promises to follow-up and see that is signed or work out any modifications which may be required by the sellers. Attorney number 2 promises to keep attorney number 1 in the loop, to preserve diplomacy.

At the same time, I get a call from the New Jersey's buyers real estate agent. The buyers have a mortgage commitment. I am relieved but doubtful. Did you see the commitment? NO, she says. I said, "excuse me for not jumping up and down, but I will believe it when I see it"! I ask her when are the buyers going to close. She doesn't know. It depends on whether the survey and title work is complete. I ask her to keep me posted.

It is Monday, the day of our scheduled closing in North Carolina. It is almost 1 month past our scheduled closing in NJ. Both still are not closed. It appears the sellers will allow us to extend the closing in NC, but I do not have it in writing. It appears the buyers have a mortgage commitment for closing in NJ but I do not have a closing date or a written copy of the mortgage commitment. The waters are still murky and I am sweating. I contact the NC attorney's and the extension addendum is being reviewed by the sellers and the sellers attorney.

The next day, I obtain a copy of the NJ buyers mortgage commitment. Unfortunately, it has 7 contingencies. Six are typical; i.e. verification of deposit and satisfactory tittle commitment etc. But, one is for the buyer to show 3 other properties are owned free and clear. I am still uneasy about this sale.

I do have a back up buyer for the NJ house. About 2 months before we moved, a woman knocked on the door while I was packing. She wanted to know if the house was still for sale. I explained we were under contract. She was so disappointed! She said the house was just what she was looking for. She was prepared to pay all cash. She asked if she could see the house. I said no. The house was a mess! And I had my hands full with other activities and was pretty stressed out. I spoke with her a little longer and changed my mind and showed her the house quickly. She left her name and number and told me to call her if the sale fell through. I mentioned it to my husband (who chastised me - she could have been a child kidnapper) and provided her name and number to the real estate broker. I kept her name handy, during the move, just in case.

It was time to call our back-up cash buyer. My husband called her and explained our dilemma. She was very interested and wanted to see the house the next day. She needed to move within 3 weeks. This appeared more promising. My husband called the real estate broker to contact her and schedule a showing. The real estate broker was reluctant but agreed. Upon following up with the real estate broker the next day, he was not able to reach her. We ask him to continue trying to reach her.

We are still on eggshells the rest of the week. At 5:00pm on Friday, we get the bombshell. My husband picks up the sellers version of the addendum at Attorney number 1 office. The addendum was completely re-written. The terms are onerous. First, the extension is only for a little over 1 week. In the event we do not close by this deadline, we lose the repair credit plus the actual cost of all repairs actually performed, our equity rent, and our earnest money deposit. This adds up to almost $20,000. Next, if we wish to extend the closing for 2 additional weeks, we must pay the sellers $8,000. Once again if we do not make the 2 week deadline, we lose it all. If this is not bad enough, the buyers want us to sign a statement that we are purchasing the property "as is". This is not and never was the case. While my husband is at the attorneys office, he finds out, our mortgage company had sent all the paper work and funded the mortgage at the beginning of the week! He screams at attorney number one, curses him and calls him incompetent. First, for not closing earlier in the week and second for the contents of the addendum.

We are still no where. The extension is now an illusion because we will not sign it. The mortgage company went above and beyond, came through and our attorney screwed up. We make some calls to NJ, to push the closing. Our buyers still have not satisfied the mortgage contingencies and there is no date scheduled. We even contact the buyer directly, to determine where she stands and explain our situation and urgency. She assures us she still wants to buy. (Later, we find out she told the real estate broker we threatened her.)

We contact our back-up cash buyer. Too late, she bought another house. She said she couldn't reach our real estate broker! Our ace in the hole (even if it was an illusion) is out. We instruct the real estate broker to actively market the property in case the buyer doesn't meet the mortgage contingencies.

OK, it is time to be calm and think things through. Upon reading the NC closing extension carefully, I notice page one has only one numbered paragraph, ends in the middle of the page with the page number four inches from the bottom of the page. The second page begins with d. and the next numbered paragraph is 3. Obviously, paragraph 2, 2a, 2b, and 2c are missing. I don't know what the sellers are trying to get me to sign but I decide to use it to my advantage as a stall. I fax my attorney, acknowledging receipt of the addendum and request he contact the sellers attorney for the missing paragraphs.

Incidentally, the cover letter to the addendum, indicates the NC sellers are purchasing another property and need the net proceeds from our sale and elimination of the mortgage to qualify for the loan on the new property they are purchasing. The last line of this letter indicates they are not inclined to negotiate the terms of the extension addendum. On the contrary, they are also between a rock and a hard place. We gamble that we can close faster then they can re-sell or take some other action. Time is not on their side either. They can not get another buyer before they need to close on their new house.

Our next strategy is to close the North Carolina deal. We re-contact the mortgage company and smooth the ruffled feathers (this is the second closing package they are preparing.) They insist on a written statement from the attorney that he is prepared to close. We have not spoken directly to the attorney since my husband's tirade. We call at least 5 times over 36 hours and request to close. His competent assistant is now making the preparations. The earliest we can schedule the NC closing is the end of the week or beginning of the next week. Full steam ahead.

We get the NC closing statement, prior to closing, to determine if we liquidated enough stock. The closing statement is incorrect. The equity rent credit is short by $2000, the mortgage application fee was paid directly to the appraiser 6 months earlier. I provide the documents to the attorneys assistant and write a letter documenting the mistakes. Prior to our closing, the sellers were to pay the utilities. On two occasions, the water was turned off and we had to pay over $200 to turn it back on. This should also appear as a credit on the closing statement.

It looks like we have the funds to close in NC, both the mortgage and the cash down payment. To be safe, I get a $5,000 cash advance on a credit card.

The NC attorney's assistant calls. The sellers refuse to pay the water charge. Our response is "It is in the contract". At this point, why screw up the deal over principal. Our attorney can not even enforce the terms of the contract. Let's just get one headache over with.

Finally, we close in North Carolina! While it is some relief, I am concerned about carrying both properties. We follow-up with NJ. It appears the buyer has met the mortgage contingencies but now the original mortgage plan is no longer available and the investor is balking, but once again we are assured it will all be worked out in just a little more time. This is some dance, and they are not playing my song.

We sweat for a few more days. It seems like an eternity. The bills are rolling in. The cash is rolling out. It appears all systems are go to close in NJ. One hitch, the buyers attorney can not schedule the closing for a few more days. We have no choice but to wait.

The NJ Attorney faxes us the NJ closing statement. I had one question about the taxes. I thought they were paid up for another month after closing, but a small charge for taxes appeared on the statement. Ralph explains they were only paid to the previous month even though the next quarter payment was not due until the next month. All other figures are correct. Closing is scheduled for late in the day. We get a phone call at 6:00pm because the built in vacuum head is missing. Apparently, the movers moved it on the second load. We agree to ship it to them.

Both deals are closed. It takes 3 more business days to get the money. A weight is lifted off our shoulders. Now the repairs in North Carolina can begin in earnest! Now the contractors who patiently waited for payment are all paid!

I plan to stay here in NC a long time. I hate to move. Over the past year, I aged 10 years. I couldn't include (or remember) every set back in this deal (for example, the NC house got struck by lightning the day after we moved in). Sometimes, things were so bad, I laughed (and prayed) to keep from crying. The stress at times was overwhelming. Was it worth it? YES!

Incidentally, our buyers broker from NC came by after closing. We were chatting and he commented he was having trouble finding a property for a $400,000 buyer. My husband proposed the "what if" to me and before he could finish his thought, I replied, I am not moving even for $400,000 profit or more.

The next real estate deal will be for investment purposes. No family to move. No business to move. No sentimental attachments. No lifestyle changes...